The Gender Home Help Gap: Sons receive £13,000 more from parents towards their first home than daughters

  • Around two thirds of people who bought their first home in the past five years had help from family members - three quarters of the time this is from parents

  • Amongst parents who helped out, they contribute a huge £58,000 on average

  • But daughters receive £51,671 towards their first home from parents - whereas sons get over £65,000 

  • Half of those who had help from their parents say it led to them interfering - leading to a fifth wishing they hadn’t accepted the financial support 

  • Those who had financial help from parents on average bought their first home over six years sooner (at 32 years old vs 39 for those who did not)

  • But most of those who did not get parental help say they ‘didn’t expect it’, with four in ten ‘pleased’ for those who do get financial support 

Under embargo until 00.01 Thursday 22nd August 2024, London: Nearly two-thirds of people who purchased their first home in the past five years (63%) had financial help from family, rising to over three quarters (76%) of homeowners under the age of 30, according to new analysis by Zoopla. 

Amongst those who had familial help to purchase their first home, three quarters (74%) received the support from their parents - totalling a massive £58,129 on average, in line with the average UK first time buyer deposit of £60,100. However all is not equal, with daughters receiving £51,671 towards their first property compared to sons receiving £65,004 - over £13,000 more. 

On average, those who had financial support from their parents were able to purchase their home more than six years sooner than those who did not (32.9 years vs 39.2 years). Meanwhile those who received financial help from grandparents (often in the form of an inheritance) were able to purchase their first home aged just 30 on average - nine years sooner than those who had no help.

The most common things first time buyers receive parental help for are the all-important deposit (66%), legal fees (24%) and renovation costs (20%). Perhaps most surprisingly, over a quarter (26%) receive help towards their mortgage payments too. 

Other family members also help significantly 

While parents are the main financial supporters when it comes to people purchasing their first home, other family members help significantly too. Indeed one in five (20%) had help from grandparents, 14% from siblings and 10% from aunts and uncles. 

Amongst those who had help from non-parental family members (28% in total), the support added up to £68,807 on average (which may or may not have been in addition to support from parents). Yet again, men were found to get more financial support than women by £4,814. 

Amongst those who received support from their family (including parents), two thirds (64%) say they expected it. The main reason is ‘because they can afford it’ (68%). Meanwhile over a quarter (26%) say it is the ‘responsibility’ of parents to help children get on the housing ladder.

Interestingly, most people who had parental help didn’t ask for it - only 21% did. Instead, six in ten (59%) say their parents offered to help them when they started looking or expressed an interest. While 17% say their parents offered to help before they even considered it. 

And to provide some light relief for parents, seven in ten of those who had parental help (68%) say they plan to pay their parents back some or all of the money - although 31% say they don’t intend to.

The pros and cons of parental support ? 

For some, parental help comes with a few strings attached. Half of those who received help (50%) say their parents went on to ‘interfere’ with aspects of the home purchase. Amongst them, 21% say their parents felt like they had a say in the home they bought and 19% say their parents started interfering with how much they spent in total. Around one in seven (14%) say their parents even tried to have a say in the decorating.  Amongst those who say their parents did interfere, one in five (20%) even say they ‘wished they never accepted it’. 

The survey shows that parents help in many other ways beyond just the cost of the property - it is also kitting the home out and guiding their children on the home-buying journey. Looking at everyone who purchased their first home in the past five years, 31% say their parents helped out with furniture costs, 23% say they helped with decorating costs and 21% did with white goods. 

When it comes to sharing their wisdom, 42% of parents also helped their children choose a home, 34% shared mortgage advice and 31% helped with the move itself. Over a fifth (22%) helped with viewings and 15% even had conversations on their children’s behalf - such as with estate agents. 

What about those who don’t receive parental support? 

Amongst most who did not get parental help, there appears to be no ill-will as a result. Nearly eight in ten (78%) say they simply didn’t expect any. Just six per cent say they were disappointed, and three per cent that they were ‘angry’ or ‘frustrated’. When asked about their feelings towards those who did have parental help, 40% are philosophical and say they ‘accept some people have advantages’ while 38% say they are pleased for those who get financial support. Just six per cent even felt it was unfair. 

There are a range of schemes available to help those who do not have support get on the property ladder - and the majority of those who did not have help (83%) were aware of at least one scheme. For example 29% were familiar with Lifetime ISAs and 27% had heard of Lifetime ISAs. 

Daniel Copley, Consumer Expert at Zoopla, says: “The research clearly shows that getting help from parents and family is very much the default when it comes to buying a first home - the vast majority of those who bought their first home in the past five years had help. This shines a light on how hard it can be to go it alone and buy one without this financial backing. But even if it takes a little longer, there are many ways for people to get on the housing ladder themselves. 

“Many of those in the survey are not aware of schemes such as shared ownership or lifetime ISAs - as well as many others - that are designed to help people buy their first home. So if you’re not able to access parental help, it’s worth investigating these to see if there are other options that will help you get on the ladder sooner - a good place to start is our Buying a Home guide. And at least you know that if you do go it alone, you won’t have Mum and Dad trying to tell you which curtains to buy.”

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